Fairies, Trolls, and Staff Sergeant Maltin




Chapter Eight



    Amanda was the first to push her way through a small ravine and dig the dirt away, revealing sunlight. The comparatively cool air made them stop and savor each clean breath, before continuing out from under the ship. In a moment of panic Amanda dug furiously, throwing dirt on the other two until she pulled herself out into the sunlight. She held her hand inside the hole for the bags, and pulled them from the hole one at a time. Mili crawled free next, followed by a wildly scrambling Maltin, who turned and looked behind himself suspiciously.
    "I swear, there's something down there," he pointed at the hole.
    "I wouldn't be surprised," Amanda nodded. "The trolls come from a heavy gravity planet, they are very strong, and very good at digging. Perhaps we should leave quickly."
    "Leave quickly," Maltin said sarcastically. "You know, Amanda, you are so damned smart."
    "Yes," she said, leading the way north.
    "I don't like her," Maltin pointed at Amanda's receding back.
    "Yes you do," Mili said with a smile.
    "Ok, maybe I do, just a little."
    "Yeah and maybe you want to have her babies," Mili said with a giggle.
    "I don't like babies, they're loud and they stink," he said, looking at her abdomen. She covered it protectively while he hurried to catch up with Amanda. Mili kicked dirt at him, then heard a noise under the ship. She bent to look in the hole suspiciously, then ran to catch up with Maltin. She glanced fearfully over her shoulder as she ran.
    As they were disappearing over a rise, a dirty, dark figure crawled from the hole they made and looked in their direction. It sniffed the air, turned it's black, leathery face from side to side, then set out at a gentle lope.

    As the time approached midnight, over thirty miles away at Alpha Base, all hell was breaking lose.
    "General, I don't know what's there," a harried scanner operator said as the general hovered over him, glaring at the screens.
    "Just give me the facts, Sergeant."
    "The facts are, sir, that a common troll shuttle went down to the surface, I waited for nearly an hour, but it never reappeared. Next three troop transports shot down to the surface, apparently landed, and never reappeared. The last was a galaxy class cruiser. It dropped almost to the surface, discharged it's primary weapons repeatedly at some unknown target, then it dropped off the scanners too. We tracked debris from it before it disappeared, so we believe it exploded. The fact is, general, that somebody seems to be eating enemy ships like candy on a dieters paradise planet."
    "Thank you, sergeant, that was a very concise report," the General said sarcastically.
    "You're welcome, sir."
    "So," the general turned and looked at the room full of half-dressed officers, "can anybody tell me what the hell is going on?" He waited, but nobody volunteered any information.
    "What do we have in that area, Ops?"
    The Operations Officer swallowed nervously and stood, looking at his fellow officers before he spoke. "Nothing sir, not a damned thing from either the fleet, marines, or the army are out there?"
    "So apparently all these trolls died of natural causes?"
    "Yes... I mean no sir."
    "First Sergeant, is anybody unaccounted for?"
    "Yes sir, one Staff Sergeant and one Corporal. She is... or was his prisoner."
    "Would they be in that area?"
    "Yes sir, they would."
    "Then get your butts out there and find them. If they are destroying half the troll fleet single- handedly, we should find out how they're doing it, don't you think?"
    "Yes sir," the room full of officers chorused. The general waved a disgusted dismissal, then motioned the First Sergeant forward.
    "First Sergeant, not a damned one of these titless wonders has a brain between them. Find out who is the closest to that area and send them on recon. Tell them to call for a transport convoy when they find them."
    "Yes sir. The 76th Rangers should be in that area."
    "Good, an excellent command, see to it will you?"
    "Consider it done, sir."
    "If nothing else, maybe they can protect my rangers," the general mumbled as he went back to bed.

    Maltin, Amanda, and Mili huddled close together for warmth, hugging the small fire they had built far back in a cave. Amanda assured them that they would be safe there. She said the enemy had only primitive heat and motion sensors.
    "I would make you keep your promise about kissing my butt, but it's too damned cold to take my pants down," Mili giggled, shaking and clutching her shirt around her neck.
    "Maybe later when I can take my time," he offered with a twisted smile.
    "Forget it, Maltin. Just give me that rifle so I can start my watch."
    Maltin reluctantly surrendered his rifle to Mili, so she could take the first watch. He dug in his bags until he found a white phosphorus grenade, and hugged it in his sleep for comfort. He was fast asleep in sixty seconds. Amanda smiled, from where she sat with Mili at the fire.
    "He is a man with many men inside him," she said quietly.
    "Say what?" Mili gave Amanda a "your crazy" look.
    "Maltin. He is many men all wrapped up in one body."
    "How do you figure that? As far as I can tell he's one shallow, mean, self-centered man."
    "Oh no, Mil E, you're wrong. He is very deep. He's hard then he's soft, mean but forgiving and gentle, savage while at the same time being protective and considerate. I've never seen such a complex man before."
    "You're a newborn, sister, he's the only man you've ever seen."
    "I was referring to my database of knowledge, more than personal experience."
    "You got a computer up in that pretty little elf head of yours?"
    "No, but I'm in constant contact with my city. In a way, I am part of the city no matter where I go."
    "Other than that, you're the same as us?"
    "I believe I am. How does it feel to be in love, Mil E?"
    "I have no idea."
    "Do you think Maltin could love me?"
    "I guess so, if you have all the right parts."
    "What parts would I need?"
    "Well it's obvious that you can have sex, I figured that out from the smile on Maltin's perverted face. But what else do you have inside you?"
    "I have all the usual organs."
    "Can you have babies?"
    "Oh yes, I'm a perfect replica."
    "Yeah, well I wouldn't mention the baby thing to Maltin for a few years, he's touchy about such things."
    "No, he's jealous of you, Mil E."
    "No way."
    "I'm afraid so. Maltin imagines that he will never have a family, you are carrying your family around with you, wherever you go. He's jealous. He's also wrong, I would be more than happy to provide him with a family."
    "You and him?" Mili said. "Well, I'll be..." Mili looked at Maltin in wonder. "What else can you tell me about him?"
    "Well he fears nothing, but he also fears everything, especially fear itself. His ultimate fear is that he will turn and run, so he's overly aggressive to cover this fear."
    "Wait a minute. How can he fear nothing, and still fear everything?"
    "He fears on an instinctive level, all humans do, it stems from your primitive ancesterage. His instincts are strong, so his fear is equally strong. But he counters that fear with rational thought, which is a human trait. His will is so strong that it constantly battles and suppresses his fears and this makes him stronger."
    "Ok, so what else?"
    "His latent homosexual tendencies bring out..."
    "Wait, I don't want to hear any more. When you start talking about that stuff my skin crawls."
    "Very well, Mil E. Would you like me to keep watch in your place. I need less sleep than your race does?"
    "No, but thanks anyway. It's my job to do. If you see me nodding off though, give me a kick, would you?"
    "In which area of your body."
    "Say what? No, just wake me," Mili said with a wave of her hand. She walked to the cave entrance, mumbling to herself and shaking her head.
    Amanda nodded and turned to watch Maltin's sleeping face.
    Mili kept a good watch, at first. She studied the brightly lit landscape with a sharp eye until she became bored and began looking for distractions. Her eyes went to the heavens, of course, but the little light guys were not there. She studied the three moons, positioned in different areas above the horizon like stepping stones. The smallest was about the size of Earth's moon, the next was a little bigger, then there was that big sucker that filled a quarter of the sky and glowed a pale yellow. It was unusual to see all three moons up together and made a beautiful picture. Unfortunately, she had no digitizer, and nobody to show it too.
    The wind came up, ruffling her hair and sending slender finger of cold through her clothing. She shivered and slid down to sit with her back against the boulder. It blocked of most of the wind. A large cat screamed from the forest about half a mile ahead of her. She stared in that direction, unconcerned. Nothing but the trolls were hostile to humans on that planet. The cats were about twice the size of a normal house cat, and really cute. Maybe they were responsible for the fact that there were no birds on this planet...

    Amanda turned from the fire and looked at Mil E. She smiled sympathetically when Mil E nodded off to sleep. She was a tired girl with her own burden to carry. Amanda considered waking Mil E, then she decided to call on one of her mechanical friends instead. She positioned the 9-16 just above the crest of the hill, nearly fifty feet above her head, and gave it explicit instructions concerning hostile actions. Then she too turned with her back to the fire and went to sleep with her face on her hands.
    As Mili slept a dark figure moved in the shadows to her left. Under the watchful eyes of the 9-16, it crept closer to Mili, examined her skin and hair, then with a slight whimper it sat against the rock next to her. Shivering with cold it slid a little closer until it's strong back was resting against hers. They both slept the rest of the night, undisturbed.

    With the sun beginning to warm the cave, Amanda's eyes flickered open. She rolled over on her back and made mental contact with the 9-16 above her. Her eyes widened and she shot up off the ground, turning toward Mili. She heard Maltin moving behind her and held out a restraining hand as he was about to hurry past.
    "She's asleep on watch," Maltin whispered harshly.
    "She's not alone," Amanda said in an unemotional voice.
    "What? What's that supposed to mean?"
    "Just how many interpretations can such a statement have?" she asked sarcastically, in a good approximation of Mili's sarcastic tone?
    Maltin glared at her and tiptoed closer. His eyes widened in horror when he saw the black skin and hair of what appeared to be an animal. He judged the distance to the rifle, wondering if he could make it in one long dive and shoot the animal before it tore Mili apart. He was about to try for it when Amanda's firm hand grabbed him by the back of his shirt. He spun around angrily and slapped her hand away.
    "He is a juvenile," Amanda whispered.
    "A juvenile what?"
    "Troll, a juvenile troll. He came to Mili for warmth and solace, a very important step between your two species. It's parents must have died in that ship."
    "A troll," Maltin's whisper was nearly a scream, "that's a troll?"
    "Just a small one," Amanda nodded.
    Mili awoke slowly and looked toward the commotion. She watched Maltin and Amanda arguing for a moment with a half smile, then noticed that her back was touching something warm and... well a little softer than the boulder. She turned and looked at the troll. It's eyes opened and regarded her with innocent trust, unafraid and undisturbed.
    "Hey guys, where did this come from?" she asked in a quiet voice.
    "You gave birth in your sleep," Maltin said sarcastically as he edged slightly closer to his rifle.
    "Very funny, asshole," Mili said, standing slowly. The troll stood with her, moving closer to Mili as Maltin approached. Maltin calmly bent and picked up his rifle, then swung quickly around to hold it on the troll.
    "Don't do that, Maltin," Amanda said in a strained voice.
    "Why not, he's a troll?"
    "Because it's all I can do to keep you from being evaporated."
    "Huh? By who?"
    "The machine keeping watch over us," she pointed over their heads. Maltin looked up and saw the 9-16.
    "Oh shit," he mumbled in defeat.
    "Would you please put down the weapon so I can release it. This is causing me a great deal of pain," she pleaded, clearly straining.
    He set the rifle carefully in the dirt and backed away. Amanda gasped and collapsed on the sand. Maltin rushed over and helped her to her feet.
    "What the hell is that thing doing up there?" he demanded when he was sure she was all right.
    "It was guarding us from any acts of aggression. I never anticipated the need to guard the trolls from you."
    "Yeah, life's full of surprises," he growled, looking at the troll.
    "That's very good, Maltin," Amanda said in wonder, "a very profound observation."
    "Huh? Well thanks," he said, coloring slightly. Mili giggled. He glared a warning at her. The troll barred it's teeth at Maltin, so he growled at the troll. It immediately hid behind Mili with one hairy, long-clawed hand around each leg for protection.
    Happy, now that everyone was put in their place, Maltin slowly picked up his rifle and slung it over his shoulder while keeping a watchful eye on the 9-16.
    "Shall we eat breakfast and get underway?" he asked grandly, presenting his arm to Amanda to escort her to the cave. Amanda stiffened and looked up at the 9- 16. She turned and looked down the hill, while Maltin sat their with his arm extended, waiting.
    "I think we should talk to them first," she pointed with a frown.
    Maltin spun around and looked down the hill. It took only a moment to recognize the Lieutenant leading the 76th Ranger Group up the hill.
    "Oh, shit, I've go a lot of explaining to do," Maltin looked around himself in horror.
    "Boy, don't you ever," Mili laughed, patting the furry hand holding her leg, while she stared from Amanda to the 9-16.
    "Oh boy," Maltin said in horror. "Amanda you restrain that thing," he pointed at the 9-16, "Mili, you restrain that thing," he pointed at the troll, "and I'll try to restrain them," he said with a pained expression and hurried down the hill.
    "Boy, this is turning out to be a really great day, isn't it?" Mili asked with a giggle. Amanda laughed with her and they went into the cave to feed the hungry troll.

    "Staff Sergeant, you do remember that little black book called Army Field Regulations don't you?" the lieutenant asked as he sat by the fire and watched Mili feeding the hungry troll. The lieutenant took a small bite of beef flavored protein and glanced at Maltin.
    "Yes sir, I do."
    "Does it mention anything about spoon feeding the enemy?"
    "No sir, but hey, shit happens," Maltin said with a nervous laugh.
    "Yeah, I guess it does," the lieutenant laughed as he looked at Amanda again. He found it hard to take his eyes off her, a fact which made Maltin very uncomfortable.
    "Sir, transport is on the way," a corporal called from the cave entrance. It was as close as he wanted to get to the troll.
    "Thank you, Corporal Polaski. Well, Maltin, in 30 minutes you will be standing in front of the area commander. I suggest you come up with a better explanation than, shit happens."
    "Oh, boy, this is turning out to be a really bad day," Maltin mumbled. His eyes went to Amanda and his insides turned over. The lieutenant saw the glance and looked from Maltin to Amanda with dawning comprehension. The lieutenant glanced at Mili, who gave a slight nod and crossed two finger. Maltin stared at Mili and she returned his glance innocently. Amanda watched everyone looking back and forth, and giggled.
    "Everything will work out, Maltin, don't worry about your male prerogative," Amanda said, winking at Mili.
    "What's that mean?" he growled, not looking at anybody.
    "She's telling you everything will work out... for you," Mili said with a growl.
    "Huh?"
    "She's proposing, stupid."
    "She is?" he looked at her in astonishment, then looked at Amanda shyly, "you are?"
    "Yes, Maltin, I am."
    "Then let's not sit around, let's go see the General," Maltin jumped to his feet enthusiastically.
    "The transport's not here yet," the lieutenant reminded him.
    "Oh, yeah."
    "Maltin, you are about to make my life very hard, but orders are orders. My orders are to bring you all in, so I guess that includes the little monster over there," he pointed at the troll.
    "I don't think we have to bring him," Maltin stared at the troll."
    "He'll die without somebody to take care of him," Amanda said.
    "Yeah," Mili put a protective arm around the troll. It grunted expressively and put a huge clawed hand on top of Mili's head. She squealed, then untangled the hairs from his claws before firmly placing his hand in his lap.
    "Did you people really destroy half the troll fleet?" the lieutenant asked in wonder.
    "Naw, just six or seven ships, although that last ship was big enough to count as half a fleet," Maltin said in wonder.
    "Amanda did most of it," Mili pointed out.
    "Yeah, she's great," Maltin said, moving closer to Amanda.
    "I can see that. Well, the transport should be here in a few minutes, let's pack this stuff up and get ready."

    Six APC's crawled over the beautiful alien landscape, surrounding a large APU, or Auxiliary Power Unit fixed with an impenetrable force field. The APU was wider but shorter than the APC's, holding only a pilot and engineer at the front of the crawler. The small group of machines moved so close that their repulsor beam legs touched, creating a small electrical explosion at times, but the computer controls compensated for such trivial problems. Maltin watched their progress from a small porthole near the rear of the front APC. He swallowed uncomfortably and looked at the Lieutenant.
    "This is how we have to travel now?"
    "It's the only way to concentrate enough firepower to withstand a troll attack. So far a convoy like this has never been successfully stopped."
    "I'm not surprised," he sat back on his seat and stared at the other sweaty faces in the cabin.
    "Just relax and endure the heat, Staff Sergeant, we'll be there in minutes."
    "Yeah, I know," he said as he stared at Mili on the opposite seat, huddled over the troll child. Amanda swayed on the seat beside her, obviously in contact with the city, or something. Her eyes suddenly opened and he was caught like a bug on glass, by those intense, blue eyes. After a moment the eyes smiled and her whole face changed in seconds. He suddenly remembered the artificial smiles she had used when they first met. Was she getting better at smiling, or just better at artificial smiles. He also remembered that Amanda was an alien. It's funny he knew that before, but it didn't seem important until now. Neither did the fact that Mili was his prisoner and he was about to arrive at their destination. As soon as they arrived several large MP's would step forward to take Mili into custody. She looked up, seemingly aware of his glance.
    "The moment of truth, huh?" she said nervously.
    "All hell is about to break lose, girl. Are you ready for it?"
    "God no, but do I have a choice?"
    "No, none of us do."
    "I'm worried about Junior here."
    "Junior," Maltin smiled for the first time.
    "Yeah, Walt Junior."
    "You deserve everything you get," Maltin growled in mock anger.
    "The Lab boys have been trying to get their hands on a live troll for months," The Lieutenant whispered near Maltin's ear. "They'll take that little guy apart in a matter of hours."
    "Oh, shit, they can't do that," Maltin said in horror.
    "We all take orders, Staff Sergeant."
    "Not that order. I'll shoot the first man who lays a hand on him."
    "Well get your shooter ready, because that's Alpha," he nodded at the forward viewscreen. Maltin looked up and groaned.
    "Want another piece of bad news?" the Lieutenant asked with a twisted smile.
    "Sure, drop it on me, sir."
    "Since the destruction of Delta, they take a visual roll call of all APC crews before allowing them to enter. How will your little troll answer up?"
    "He'll probably grunt and vomit up half his breakfast," Maltin said in a defeated tone.
    "The alien princess is kind of short on human identification too."
    "Any more good news, sir?"
    "Nope, that about covers it."
    "Good I thought you'd give me some really bad news."
    "There's the general."
    "Yeah, I know about him," Maltin said with a sigh.
    "No, THERE is the general," the Lieutenant pointed at the viewscreen.
    Maltin looked at the viewscreen in open- mouthed horror. The tailgate dropped behind him and a crowd surged forward to meet them. When they saw the troll, they scrambled backwards in horror, trampling those behind them.
    Somebody fired a pistol. The beam ricochet off the upper right corner of the APC and dissipated harmlessly in the force field above the base. Maltin brought up his rifle, but the Lieutenant shoved the barrel down.
    "Corporal, deploy the squad now!" the Lieutenant shouted and waved his squad forward. They poured out of the back of the APC, taking up a defensive position at the rear and ringing in the opening. The Lieutenant stood, straightened his uniform, then stepped out of the APC like a conquering hero.
    "Well, you got around the head count," The Lieutenant whispered out of the side of his mouth. He surveyed the crowd with a frown, then looked up as the General approached. He saluted and stepped down as the General arrived.
    "All present and accounted for, General."
    "Excellent. Where are they?"
    "This way, sir," he led the General to the back of the APC. The General climbed in without looking up, then saw Maltin's terrified salute. He returned the salute with a smile. The General turned to survey the others in the interior and froze. He looked at Maltin, then back at the troll.
    "Staff Sergeant, is HE a member of your command?"
    "Yes sir --- well sort of."
    "And how did you come by... oh, never mind, I'll expect your full report on my desk by noon. Right now, we... what the hell is this a fairy?" he asked, suddenly noticing Amanda for the first time.
    "Well, sort of, sir."
    "There are a hell of a lot of "sort of's" in your vocabulary, Sergeant."
    "Yes sir, it's hard to explain on the spot."
    "I imagine. And this is your prisoner?"
    "Well..."
    "Don't even say it, Sergeant, I'm known for my good nature, but you're stretching it."
    "She was, sir, but I feel she was wrongly accused and has access to information vital to our survival. She can destroy the troll ships, sir."
    "She can, can she? But not from behind bars, is that what you're trying to say?"
    "Yes sir, exactly."
    "Good, now we're getting somewhere. So who is this lovely lady with the pointed ears?"
    "An indigenous civilian, sir. She has been a great deal of help."
    "Well somebody certainly has. We've been keeping score and it's 5 and 0 in the final quarter. That's why I sent for you."
    "I'm grateful, sir."
    "Good. Now tell me how you did it."
    "You've got to be kidding, sir, you want me to explain it here?"
    "Lieutenant Keily, have you ever known me to kid," the General turned to the leader of the 76th Ranger Group.
    "No General Keily sir, not in the 25 years that I've known you."
    "There, you see. I'm not kidding," the General took a seat by the Lieutenant and ruffled his hair. Since the Lieutenant was about 25 years old Maltin realized there must be a family connection there.
    "So what is this tongue-tied Staff Sergeant trying to tell me, nephew?" the general asked fondly.
    "Well sir, the absolutely ravishing blonde is the only surviving member of her race. We are trespassing on her territory, by the way. She is madly in love with the Staff Sergeant and they are getting married as soon as you sign the approval form. The black woman there is an honorable woman, she is dedicated to the Army, fearless, and very pregnant. The troll kid is the sole survivor of the last ship they blew up, so she adopted him. Just over the horizon the scanners will pick up a squadron of 9-16's that are at her disposal," he pointed at Amanda.
    "And what can I say about the Staff Sergeant there, he doesn't have a brain in his head, but he has a big heart and is the most heroic son-of-a-gun I have ever seen. When this is all over he's going to become my Top Sergeant, with your approval, of course."
    "Great, good!" the General said, slapping his knee. "Now we're getting somewhere. But... who shot down the troll ships?"
    "I don't know, you'd have to ask the Sergeant," Lieutenant Keily looked at Maltin expectantly.
    "We all did, sir. A lot of the credit goes to Amanda, but we all had a hand in it. It's really kind of easy, once you know how."
    The General looked from Maltin to the Lieutenant. "It's really kind of easy, once you know how," he mimicked Maltin sarcastically. "I don't know if I should slap the son-of-a-bitch or stick a medal on him. Here I've lost half my ground forces and he... never mind. Keily, get security badges for all four of them. You are all on R&R until further notice. And Lieutenant, tell the MP's to go home. The prisoner never arrived. But Maltin, I want that report on my desk in 4 hours. I have a lot of planning to do and a lot of it will be centered around what you tell me. Be precise, but fast. Understand?"
    "Yes sir."
    "But sir, what do we do about the troll kid? He will cause panic in the base," Lieutenant Keily said.
    "Stick a hat on him or something. That's your problem, Lieutenant, mine is destroying his relatives."