Fairies, Trolls, and Staff Sergeant Maltin




Chapter Nine



    Maltin finished his report, one painful word at a time. He checked the clock when he pushed the "send" button on his miniature computer. He finished with 11 minutes to spare. He dropped his computer in his shirt pocket and leaped out of the seat, now free to do what was uppermost on his mind. Make sure his small army was staying out of trouble. Despite Lieutenant Keily's predictions of frightened crowds trying to escape the evil troll, he found Mili, Amanda, and Junior surrounded by a huge crowd in the shopping mall. Amanda was putting on a light show with her newly revived little light guys. Mili was trying to teach Junior to speak English. She had a lot of help, all gathered around and making faces, gestures, or otherwise making themselves look extremely stupid. Maltin shook his head and pushed his way through the crowd. Mili looked up in relief.
    "Are you Staff Sergeant Maltin?" an official sounding voice asked from behind him.
    "Yeah... yes sir," he noticed the colonel clusters on the white coat. A LAB COAT!
    "We need to borrow your little friend there. As amusing as he may be, we need to study him to analyze our enemies weaknesses," the Colonel started to step forward. Maltin placed a hand on his chest and stopped him in his tracks.
    "Sergeant, you're out of line!" the colonel roared in surprise an outrage. The veins stood out in his angry, red face, accenting his white lab coat nicely.
    "No sir, you're exceeding your authority. This troll kid is a guest of the base, in case you didn't notice the security badge. He's here at the General's request. And, even if the General gave his approval, I'd shoot you in your tracks if you tried to dissect that little guy."
    "You tell him, Staff Sergeant, he's been threatening me for the past hour. I told him he'd have to talk to you," Mili said with a protective arm around the troll.
    "I can have the MP's here in minutes and simply take him," the colonel said.
    "And I can have my company of Ranger here in half the time and kick your butt all over this mall, sir, and you still won't touch that kid," Maltin said, getting very angry.
    "Whoa, whoa, time out," Lieutenant Keily said as he pushed his way through the crowd. "The General anticipated this problem and he's already decided that the kids remains unmolested. If you don't believe me, you can talk to him yourself, Colonel" he held up the miniature phone.
    The Colonel hesitated, then snatched the phone out of the Lieutenant's hand. The Lieutenant turned and winked at Mili, then watched with a look of unconcern.
    "General, I have come to appropriate the troll for routine studies. I have run into treasonable resistance," the Colonel said haughtily as he surveyed the faces around him.
    "Are you in MY army Colonel?" the General roared.
    "Yes, sir," a surprised looked crossed the colonel's face. He was used to doing the yelling, not being yelled at.
    "Are you a soldier?"
    "Yes sir, West Point, class of 2354."
    "Then act like one, Colonel. If you want a troll put a squad together from those worthless lab rats of yours, requisition an APC and go out and get one."
    "Sir?"
    "You heard me, Colonel. You have the only non-productive department in my command. You take what supplies you want, snatch up soldiers without my approval, and I get nothing in return but your monthly complaints. It's worse than PMS. Well it stops now, it's time to pay the piper."
    "Well, I guess we really don't need a live troll that bad," the Colonel looked embarrassed, "autopsy's should reveal..."
    "That wasn't a request, Colonel."
    "Oh Lord," the Colonel said as he snapped the phone closed and handed it to Lieutenant Keily.
    "The Armory is that way," Keily pointed down the passageway. "The rifles are those long things with a hole in the end. Glad I could help," Keily saluted his back as he hurried off.
    "And now on to important matters. Amanda, I am formally requesting a lease on your city or any parts you deem appropriate, for use by the Combined Space Fleet, and the Combined Army."
    "Granted, Lieutenant, but I must warn you that I am even now reactivating a small percentage of the population. I would recommend the Northern outskirts of the city, since it has access to the lower mainland through a connecting tunnel."
    "Fine, we can build as necessary."
    "I can sell you about a billion tons of alien metal real cheap," Maltin laughed. "Well actually, it's not mine to sell, it belongs to Junior here."
    "Ah, that's another thing I need to discuss," a look of regret passed over Keily's face. "Your transfer to my rangers has been disapproved."
    "It has?" Maltin's face suddenly fell.
    "Yes. The General feels you can be of more help organizing an attack on the troll fleet from the city, and acting as liaison between Amanda's people, and our sole contact with the troll race. As of now, Lieutenant, you are the permanent M791A-5 ambassador."
    "That's quite a title," Maltin said as he repeated it silently, trying to memorize his new job.
    "My people called this planet Ethroaxuaphor," Amanda said brightly.
    "Why?" Maltin said then shook his head, "never mind, I like M791A-5 better. You make your planet sound like a disease... hey, did you say Lieutenant?"
    "Goes with the job," Keily slapped him on the shoulder and handed him a pair of golden bars. "Congratulations."
    "Thanks, sir... Keily."
    "Good luck guys, I'll see you when this is all over. Especially if you reactivate more women that look like you," he said to Amanda with a wink. He disappeared through the crowd.
    "It's too crowded here," Maltin said, suddenly uncomfortable at all the attention. "Let's go shopping, requisition an APC and get the heck out of here," he pushed his way through the crowd.

    The first phase of the attack plan was to retake the northern city. It would have been an impossible task without Amanda's help. Lieutenant Maltin got to work with the Rangers after all. He and Mili joined up with the Rangers and took transports to within 30 miles of the northern city. They disembarked and marched the remaining 30 miles to the city in small, fifteen minute marches. It took them two days. They were nearly exhausted as they arrived and stared at the tall, snow- covered mountain above them.
    "This is it," Maltin said as he stared at his computer screen and the map Amanda had provided them.
    "There is no way in hell we are getting up there," Keily said, studying the snowy ridges through his visual amplifier.
    "We may not have to. Amanda just needs a line of sight on the city. She gave me this little gadget here," Maltin took a small lacey fan out of his pack and set it in front of them.
    "What is it?"
    "Beats me, she just said to point it at the city and open the little fan, then get away because it protects itself."
    "And what does that give us, exactly?" Keily stared at the fan in confusion.
    "I don't know," Maltin said in annoyance as he pointed the fan at the top of the peak and opened it. "It's supposed to help us... somehow."
    The fan finished opening by itself, forming into a spider web of thin metal veins. As it finished they found themselves looking at a satellite dish. A long black rod poked out from the center and three legs shot down from the base to form a tripod. As they watched, the dish began to glow.
    "I suggest we get the hell out of here," Keily said, putting his words into action. Maltin followed right on his tail. The dish turned and seemed to lock on to a target, then it... did nothing.
    "Well that was quite a let-down," Mili said from her boulder.
    "Yeah, but don't expect me to go kick it to see if it's working," Maltin stared at the dish suspiciously.
    "Shit, troll transport descending from the mountain," Corporal Polaski yelled and pointed. Everyone scrambled for cover. The troll ship landed just in front of the dish, then turned off it's engines.
    "This should be good," Maltin said as he stared at the dish turning to face the small ship. He was waiting for the fireworks to start. The door opened on the side of the ship, but nobody came out.
    "Well I'm excited," Mili said in a bored voice.
    "Somebody has to look inside that ship," Maltin mumbled. "Keily, who's your village idiot?"
    "These men are Rangers, Maltin, we don't have idiots."
    Maltin waited with a skeptical expression.
    "Barbet, front and center!" Keily yelled over his shoulder.
    "Sir," a tall gawky soldier ran forward and saluted.
    "Go look inside that ship and see if it's empty."
    "In the ship, sir?" he looked confused.
    "Yeah, Barbet, now."
    "Yes sir," he saluted again and started reluctantly forward.
    "Oh, somebody kick me," Maltin said and lunged to his feet. He ran up next to Barbet and pulled him forward by his sleeve. They approached the ship, leaped and rolled inside, then came up with their weapons hanging lose.
    "It's empty," Maltin called. "This is our ride upstairs."
    "Ok, everybody, load up," Keily shouted and waved them forward.
    "You heard him ask for a kick," Mili said, giggling in anticipation.
    "If you do, after what he just did, I'LL shoot you solider," Keily mumbled and moved over by the entrance of the ship, waiting for his squad to board.
    "Oh, sir, you're no fun," Mili complained as she stepped into the ship.
    "I reserve my fun for Saturday nights, Corporal, this is only Tuesday."
    The ship rose gently in the air. Since the destination was straight up, they simply rose in place. The mountain streamed past as they watched from every veiwport. After what seemed an endless wait, the first shimmering blue reflection of the city's offset field came into view. They looked around in awe at the white city below them. It was immense. It was also crawling with trolls and machines. A matching offset field sprang up around the ship and it slid through the city's field with ease.
    "Holy shit, there must be a million of them," Keily gasped in surprise.
    "We are SO dead," Mili said with a shake of her head. "I hope Amanda takes good care of Junior."
    "I hope she takes good care of us," Maltin said in horror. "Look at that they have tanks, flying cars, anti-gravity belts, they've got everything!"
    "We are SO dead," Mili said again.
    "Would you stop saying that!" Maltin shouted.
    "Well look at this thing, it's landing us right in the middle of them. If Amanda was pissed at you, why'd she have to kill us too."
    "She's not pissed at me. Now knock it off, she must have a reason for landing us here."
    "Yeah, it's called divorce."
    "Were not married yet, pathetic pregnant woman. Now let me think. I did everything she said, we got here and I opened the little fan thingey, and it brought us this ship... THAT'S IT!"
    "That's what?" Mili asked.
    "She controlled the ship. She must have control of the city now. All we have to do is get out there and shoot something, and she will do the rest. She's in control," Maltin said in relief.
    "And you believe... ok, ok," Mili said, ducking as he started to backhand her.
    "Well either way," Keily ejected his power crystal then shoved it back into his rifle, "we're Rangers and we die fighting."
    "I'm not a Ranger," Mili pointed out.
    "Well... tough," Keily said with a smile, "you can be a Ranger when you grow up."
    "Man that door switch, Corporal Polaski," Keily said as he made a final check of his men.
    "We're going to die, aren't we?" Mili asked Corporal Polaski as she stood by the door.
    "Yeah, so die..."
    "Proud?" Mili asked in a bored voice.
    "No, die kicking and screaming, fight until the last breath leaves your body. Take as many of those assholes with you as you can."
    "I like you philosophy better than Maltin's."
    "And also," Corporal Polaski said in a whisper, "don't go out that door first, the bravest dies the fastest."
    "Oh," Mili said, suddenly looking around. She pushed her way through the crowd until she was as far from the door as she could get. Several soldiers noticed and laughed. Keily made his way back to the door and took a firm grip on his rifle. He nodded at Polaski. As the door started opening he felt somebody jostling his elbow. He turned and smiled at Maltin.
    "In a hurry to die?"
    "No, I've just got to shoot something before my brain explodes. All this suspense is killing me."
    "Better than a troll killing you," Mili called from the back of the bay, "suspense can't eat you for breakfast."
    The door opened and they poured out of the ship. Trolls stood frozen in surprise as the Rangers began shooting into tightly-packed groups. The trolls, taken by surprise, turned and ran. There wasn't a troll weapon in sight, since they felt secure inside their stolen city.
    Maltin passed out his entire collection of white phosphorous grenades, pulled the pin on his own canister, and tossed it as far as he could. Grenades rained down all over the town square. A hovertank turned toward the Rangers. Keily waved Corporal Polaski forward. He took several rockets from the Corporal's pack and passed one to Maltin.
    "You know how to use these?" Keily asked, then ducked as the white phosphorous grenades began exploding. It was hard to hear over the animal howls of the wounded trolls.
    "Sure. Press the red switch and toss it like a spear," Maltin yelled as he prepared his anti-tank rocket, while keeping an eye on the approaching tank.
    "And duck so the rocket blast doesn't take your head off," Keily yelled and tossed his rocket. The rocket telescoped until it was six feet long, then as it started to fall back to Earth, the engine kicked in, propelling it against the tank with an awesome explosion. The tank rocked, but kept on coming. Maltin tossed his own rocket and squatted as the rocket engine shot fire over his head. The rocket hit in the exact same place as Keily's and the tank began exploding. Several dozen explosions rocked the tank and took it apart, one piece at a time. The final horrible blast sent the turret sailing up into the air. It paused, forty feet in the air and came slamming back down on a group of running trolls.
    "Look at that shit," Mili pointed. A squad of armed trolls was approaching using anti-gravity belts. "Why can't we get shit like that?"
    "Areal targets," Keily shouted and knelt. As he sighted in on the first troll, something seemed to go horribly wrong. The trolls stopped advancing and shot toward the ground at full speed. All 18 trolls were rolling and screaming in pain. It took little effort to put them out of their misery.
    "Amanda must be helping," Maltin said proudly.
    "She is one sick puppy," Mili said, staring at the dark troll blood spreading on the ground. Troll energy weapons sent lances of fire into their ranks. Three soldiers were tossed backwards. Two lay dead and the third was horribly wounded. His entire midsection was missing.
    "Spread out and fire at will," Keily shouted. He fell on his stomach and began returning fire. A roar of shouts and voices started at the far side of the square, out of their sight. In a moment the trolls fighting them turned and attacked somebody behind them.
    "I don't know what they're shooting at," Keily yelled, moving his head from side to side for a better view, "but let's charge those suckers. Spread out and charge!" he yelled, leaping to his feet.
    As they started forward the offset field suddenly fell from around the city and the cold arctic air swept over the city in a blast. Snow obscured their vision as they neared the trolls. Light from their weapons glowed in the blowing snow like lightning in a thunderstorm.
    A squadron of shadows passed over their ranks. They looked up in alarm just as the disrupter style weapons from a squadron of 9-16's began blasting the troll ranks. The residual noise sent the Rangers tumbling to the ground with their hands over their ears. After one pass the 9-16's sailed up and out of the city. The offset field was suddenly reinstated. Lances of blue energy pierced the troll ranks as the snow settled. The Rangers added their one fire to the melee and suddenly found themselves facing an army of Amanda's fairy people.
    "Hold your fire," Keily yelled, bringing up the barrel of his weapon.
    "I think we've just wiped out the entire troll ground forces," Maltin said in amazement. He started to make a troll body count, then gave up. The leader of the fairy people was approaching.
    "Who is Maltin and Mil E?" the gray haired troll asked, staring at the faces.
    "That would be me --- and her," Maltin turned and pointed at Mili.
    "Good. Amania... Amanda wanted to make sure you were all right. She is relieved."
    "Tell her we send our thanks," Keily said, shouldering his weapon. The leader of the fairy people paused, then nodded.
    "I have told her. Thank you for helping us clean out our city. It was most courteous of you. And I hate to be discourteous, but we will need the bodies of your wounded and dead now, if you intend to reanimate them."
    "Say what?" Keily said with his eyes bulging out. "You can bring them back to life?"
    "Of course. Reanimation is much simpler than a complete manufacture such as we required. But time is short," he waved several men forward.
    "Sure, sure, go ahead," Keily said, "do whatever you have to do. Uh, how long will it take?"
    "An hour perhaps. Would you like refreshments? I believe the city has cleansed itself sufficiently for a light lunch to be served. This way," he bowed and waved them toward the nearest building.
    "Hey, the bodies are gone," Mili shouted, pointing at the town square.
    "They have been converted into energy and sent to their fleet as a warning. Their ships have been returned also, with the exception of the one you arrived in. That one has been deeded to you for your personal use."
    "Could you send us to the troll mother ship," Maltin asked thoughtfully, "like you just sent those bodies?"
    "Certainly. It's a very simple process, we completely destroy the original, digitize the data needed to recreate the body, and a perfect duplicate shows up at the focal point."
    "Uh, never mind," Maltin said, swallowing quickly.
    I took less than an hour for the three soldiers to be revived. Mathews showed up first with a look of horror on his face.
    "Look, Lieutenant, look what they've done to me," he pointed at his stomach. The Lieutenant stared at Mathews, then shook his head.
    "I don't see anything wrong, Mathews, what's your problem?"
    "They gave me Greco's stomach. I look pregnant."
    "When we received the body, he had no stomach," the gray haired fairy explained. "We used another solider as a prototype."
    "You hear that Mathews?" Keily said with a smile. "Which would you prefer, a big hole where your stomach should be, or Greco's stomach."
    "I'll take this one," he said in embarrassment. "But it will take me a month to work all this fat off."
    Greco and Lane suddenly appeared in the far doorway. As Greco approached the crowd looked at his stomach and laughed.
    "What?" Greco asked defensively.
    "Just sit down and fill that huge stomach of yours," Keily said, laughing with the rest of them.
    "It will take three days for our fleet to arrive from Earth," Keily said as he tried an assortment of cookies.
    "That gives us a little time to organize our assault," Maltin said as he stuffed his face.
    "It also gives you time to marry that girl," Mili pointed out.
    "There's plenty of time for that," Maltin said uncomfortably.
    "That's what Daniel said too," Mili patted her stomach with a sad, faraway look in her eyes. "Do it now, Lieutenant Maltin," she said in all seriousness.
    Maltin paused with a tinned spoon at his mouth, then nodded.
    "Ok, Mili, but you'd better be there or I'll kick your butt all over this planet, I can't do this alone."
    "I wouldn't miss it, Walt."